When Leaders Say “No” to God: The Three Refusals of Peter
In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, One God. Amen.
May the blessing of the Father who calls us and His Only Begotten Son Jesus Christ who saves us, and the Holy Spirit who sanctifies and transforms us be with us all, that we may hear His word and bear fruit—thirty, sixty, and a hundredfold. Amen.
Before Peter ever stood in Cornelius’ house and declared,
“God has shown me that I should not call any man common or unclean.” — Acts 10:28 (NKJV)
There was a hidden wrestling match in his heart. A tension between what he had always believed and what God was revealing. A tension many of us, as leaders and servants, know too well.
“Rise, Peter; kill and eat.”
But Peter said, “Not so, Lord! For I have never eaten anything common or unclean.”
And a voice spoke to him again the second time, “What God has cleansed you must not call common.” — Acts 10:13–15 (NKJV)
And this happened three times.
Peter wasn’t being rebellious—he was being cautious, devout, obedient to the Law as he knew it. But God was not trying to destroy the Law—He was fulfilling it in Christ and expanding its reach through grace.
We Resist When God Expands Our Vision
Peter’s “Not so, Lord” wasn’t rooted in arrogance. It was the trembling voice of someone whose world was shifting beneath his feet.
How often do we say the same?
- “Not so, Lord—this person isn’t spiritual enough.”
- “Not so, Lord—they don’t understand our tradition.”
- “Not so, Lord—this ministry doesn’t fit our mold.”
- “Not so, Lord—I know what service should look like.”
We speak from a place of protection—of trying to preserve what is sacred. But the Holy Spirit whispers again:
“What God has cleansed you must not call common.”
St. Cyril of Alexandria comments:
“Peter was not quick to accept what was unfamiliar, even though it came from heaven. But God, with gentleness, lifted the veil from his eyes.”
— Homily on Acts 8
We must allow that same divine gentleness to lift the veil from our eyes.
The Vision Was Not for Peter Alone
St. John Chrysostom explains why the vision happened three times:
“This was done three times… that none may say that God was simply proving Peter, as He did Abraham. This vision is not only for Peter, but for the Jews, so they may understand that the Gentiles too are being made clean.”
— Homily on Acts 10:16
The linen sheet—let down from heaven—was not just about food. It was about humanity.
Chrysostom goes further:
“The linen sheet represents the earth, the wild beasts the Gentiles, and the command to kill and eat is the call to preach to them.”
Peter’s resistance was the resistance of every religious heart that has forgotten the wideness of God’s mercy.
The Danger of Pious Resistance
Some of the most dangerous resistance to God comes from religious people trying to do the right thing. We resist not because we’re evil—but because we think we’re protecting holiness.
St. Gregory the Great warns us:
“Often we resist divine mercy because it appears to transgress our discipline. But who are we to restrict grace?”
— Homilies on the Gospels, 18
Peter’s three “Not so, Lord” moments echo his three denials. But this time, the enemy is not fear—it’s formality. It’s the good becoming the enemy of the better.
God didn’t rebuke Peter. He repeated the vision three times. He insisted—not to shame, but to open a new door.
Other Biblical Leaders Who Resisted
Peter is not alone. Scripture is full of holy people who hesitated:
- Moses said:
“O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.” — Exodus 4:13
But God chose him to speak to Pharaoh.
- Jonah fled from Nineveh, convinced the Gentiles did not deserve mercy. But God taught him:
“Should I not pity Nineveh, that great city…?” — Jonah 4:11
- Ananias feared Saul:
“Lord, I have heard from many about this man…” — Acts 9:13
But God replied:
“Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine.” — Acts 9:15
God doesn’t discard hesitant leaders. He teaches them. Redirects them. Reminds them who the mission is really about.
Mental Health and the Fear of Change in Leadership
Peter’s resistance also speaks to something very human: our fear of change. Psychology names this as cognitive dissonance—when new truths conflict with deeply held beliefs. In leaders and clergy, this can show up as:
- Emotional discomfort when roles shift.
- Anxiety when structures are questioned.
- Avoidance of people who challenge tradition.
- Over-attachment to “how things have always been done.”
From a pastoral counseling lens, this is often rooted in what we call Schema Rigidity—deeply ingrained patterns that were once helpful but now keep us from flexibility and compassion. It’s not rebellion. It’s trauma-informed theology—believing that if we let go of this structure, everything will fall apart.
But Jesus gently calls us forward. Just as He did with Peter:
- Not with shame.
- Not with condemnation.
- But with vision.
He doesn’t reject Peter—He teaches him through repetition. That’s divine therapy: loving persistence until transformation happens.
“He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” — Philippians 1:6 (NKJV)
Practical Questions for Self-Examination
If you are a priest, a servant, a leader, or even a parent—pause and reflect:
- Where am I still saying “Not so, Lord”?
- Who have I written off as too far, too sinful, too different?
- What ministry or person have I refused to embrace—because they don’t “fit” my model of faith?
“We ought to obey God rather than men.” — Acts 5:29 (NKJV)
We need to remember: the Church was never ours to gatekeep. It is the Body of Christ, and the Spirit blows where He wills.
St. Augustine reminds us:
“God has many that the Church does not yet have, and the Church has many whom God does not acknowledge. Let us not call common what God has cleansed.” — On Baptism, Against the Donatists
This is humbling. And freeing.
How Weakness Can Lead to True Strength in Ministry
Let’s bring this full circle.
St. Paul himself once said:
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’” — 2 Corinthians 12:8–9 (NKJV)
We want to lead from strength. But Christ wants to fill our weakness with His strength.
Why? Because when we admit our limitations, we:
- Become more merciful.
- Become better listeners.
- Become less self-righteous.
- Become more open to the Spirit.
This is true strength. Not standing tall on our own—but bowing low to the ground so that Christ may stand tall through us.
abouna andrew
Practical Leadership Tools: When Weakness Is a Mirror
Here’s how leaders can turn resistance into transformation:
- Get honest about where you resist. Say it plainly: “I avoid this group.” “I fear this conversation.” “I judge this style of ministry.” Awareness is the first healing.
- Name what’s underneath. Is it fear of being wrong? Fear of being misunderstood? Pressure from your past spiritual formation?
- Allow God’s vision to baptize your mindset. Not everything new is unholy. Not every shift is compromise. Some changes are invitations.
- Anchor yourself in your calling. Go back to why you started serving. Remember the mercy that found you.
- Invite accountability. We grow best in communion. A trusted spiritual father, mentor, or servant can speak to your blind spots.
Closing Exhortation: Rise, Eat, Go
“This was done three times. And the object was taken up into heaven again.” — Acts 10:16 (NKJV)
Three refusals. Three repetitions. And then—an open door.
Peter went to Cornelius. And what happened?
“While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit fell upon all those who heard the word.” — Acts 10:44 (NKJV)
The Holy Spirit fell—not after perfect understanding, but after faithful obedience.
So, let us rise. Let us receive the vision God gives. And let us go where He sends us—not to compromise the faith, but to fulfill it more fully. Even if it challenges our comfort, stretches our tradition in practice (not in doctrine), or humbles our pride, we go in obedience—rooted in truth and led by the Spirit.
abouna andrew
Because someone is waiting for you to stop saying, “Not so, Lord,” and start saying, “Speak, Lord, for Your servant hears.”
May the Lord bless us, transform our hearts and minds, that our homes may stand on the Rock, our hands serve in the harvest, and our hearts long for Heaven. Amen.